No matter how wonderful our kids are, there will be moments when they experience anger, and for some kids those moments seem to come quite frequently! Most parents I speak to grew up in the 70's and 80's, when expressing anger in a healthy way was not yet an option. Many of us, then, grew up having to really repress our anger instead of expressing it and so it can be extra challenging for us as parents to deal with a kid who is having a big reaction to something.
Terri: Hi there, everyone! Today, we have Dominique Olivier, our parenting coach, with us once again to discuss a common issue that often keeps parents on their toes - exam anxiety in kids. Dominique, could you first explain to us what exam anxiety in kids looks like?
Alain's journey to fame began in his teenage years when he developed a passion for climbing. By 19, he was already renowned as a great climber in France. Unfortunately, at the age of 20, he fell over 15 meters while assisting beginner climbers. Despite the doctors telling him he'd never walk again, let alone climb, Alain persisted and went on to achieve incredible feats.
PTSD, or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, is a mental health condition that can develop after someone experiences a traumatic event. But here's the thing: labeling someone with PTSD can feel stigmatizing, and as humans, we don't like being branded as victims or patients. It's essential to remember that PTSD doesn't define a person; it's simply a response to an overwhelming experience.
Jealousy is a normal human emotion. It can be triggered when we feel threatened, like when our partner goes on a work lunch with someone else or when we see them flirting with someone else. Jealousy can also come about because of feelings of insecurity, fear, and low self-esteem. However, being jealous is not good for your relationship and it can lead to problems if not dealt with in a healthy way.
Ok, everyone wants their kids to feel confident and positive, so what is the best way to achieve that? Why do some kids seem to lack confidence no matter how much positive reinforcement they get?
The number one thing that I coach parents about in the face of their kids anxiety is first of all to NOT DISMISS it. Do not tell your kid that there's nothing to be afraid of when they're obviously feeling afraid. The fearful feelings are REAL to your kid, even if the cause is not logical. Their rational, thinking part of their brain, the frontal lobe, is not in charge of this experience for them and they can't just shift their attention there. If your child is afraid of monsters in their room, telling them there are no monsters does not help one bit.
Now I'm one of the millions (billions?) of people who find it incredibly disconcerting if I realise I've left home without my phone. I immediately feel vulnerable and worried thinking about all the places I won't be able to find my way to, and all the emergency messages I might miss. Not to mention all the empty moments in the day that I won't be able to fill by scrolling through FB (showing my age again) or checking the comforting round of email/whatsapp/notifications. We have forgotten how to be bored in a queue, or feel socially awkward if we're alone somewhere.
We live in a world in which stress is often glorified and being 'busy' is a sign of productivity. People who are juggling the demands of modern life, work, kids, relationships etc, are often unaware of just how stressed they really are, while others become overwhelmed and find that they can't function at all. Sometimes stress is obvious...we're stuck in traffic and late for an appointment...and sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's a low level hum just beyond our awareness that we have become so accustomed to that we don't even notice.
Panic attacks are very difficult and distressing for anyone who experiences one, especially as they often mimic something else. People can feel like they're having a heart attack or other medical issue, as the panic causes their breathing to change and they can become light headed or feel as if they will pass out.